Kuukausi: lokakuu 2024

I first saw you in the warm light of the little café
you were an intriguing thing just sitting in the corner
and then and there I knew I had to get to know you

I swallowed my pride and took some steps forward
and hit you with some shitty opener from my collection
I guess you opened up since you actually started talking to me

and we talked the day away and exchanged numbers
never saw each others’ red flags so it’s all cool
gotta trust in the process and in the benevolence of the universe

we met again at some other small and quaint café/bar
and we talked about good shit and also some weird shit
you mentioned you liked to be tied up and I was speechless
(but in a positive way)

now I really had to see you again, and so I did
many many times and you are now part of my life
bound up and entangled in this ship of peculiar relations

I really can’t get enough of you now, no matter what we do
and it seems like you can’t get enough of me either
so we keep on fulfilling and completing each other

I am happy I met you that day at that warm-lighted little café
you make me excited about my future prospects
and I hope I can always brighten up your beautiful face

I need your sweet, succulent being whole
without the taste of you I feel rather incomplete
I would very much like to fill your deep hole
there’s nothing in the laissez-faire markets to compete
I have a to-do list, and you are my top task
in fact I think there’s nothing else in that list
so in your shower I really really must bask
until everything and I mean everything is covered in mist
I want to solve your puzzle and make our pieces fit
such a complex problem yet to me so enriching
and two of the birds in the picture are called tit
we should fly away to a love nest most titillating
you asked me to fix something, and I have just the tool
that rewires you again into your own straight path
if I do not walk it along side with you, I would be a fool
I mean, when there’s an itching, why not just scratch?
the road is straight and narrow and I take the risk
since the destination is you, and so is the trip
the travel time is instant and it’s all a joyous frisk
especially when you frisk me in your lovely grip
I want you to help build my Jenga tower
after it falls, we can rebuild it again and again
I want to play so many games with you my lover
it isn’t even a problem if there’s going to be a bit of pain
I need your music so let me plug in the cable
everything works out of the box in a perfect fashion
your sound is smooth milk and with it I’m able
to again and again find a boundless passion
I want your six degrees of connection
and I need you to get in touch with myself
so let me reconnect to your nerve collection
again restoring both of our systems’ health

I live and thrive on doing things
whether it’s collecting rare rings
or building a better future for all
or dismantling a useless wall
or making beautiful excel sheets
or preserving delicious red beets
or writing letters to strangers
or warning about various dangers
or listening to the Doors’ albums
or observing the local bums
or keeping the sauna fires lit
or making my physique fit
or reaping the fruits of apple trees
or compiling pins in threes
or Believing in a thing called love
or fitting up a new leather glove
or filling out my tax forms
or gathering up dirty worms
or being the Lord of the Flies
or getting mad at other people’s lies
or playing the electric guitar
or building up my own sitar
or composing some silly songs
or trying out some new thongs
or writing angry messages to trolls
or going on some nice evening strolls
or liking every goddamn Instagram post
or being a gracious party host
or filming the squirrels outside
or going down on the playground’s slide
or living it up in Hotel California
or just casually visiting Narnia
or trying to unclog the sewer
or making a barbeque skever
or just trying out something new
or attempting to deduce who knew
that all this time I am just a silly goose
who thinks to write a silly list of things
for when boredom strikes
and pass that off as poetry

I am staring at the horizontal chasm of a dark doorway
breathing, feeling, passing on my everyday thoughts
trying to see beyond the perimeter that is my consciousness
attempting to change my reality in this focused moment
and after countless breaths not counted and feelings felt
I suddenly am dragged through into a night vision
passing by dust particles that are like the stars in the sky
into another realm yet I know it’s all in my head
a place where the colors are changed and the distances magnified
there I meet a shadow figure, an eerie outline of a man
who tells me half-truths and gives me half-puzzles
then he tells me to phase out and instinctively I blink my eyes
I blink so fast that I again see the colors changing
until the shadow man disappears and other figures appear
which are like films, moving images within a dark city
yet there is no canvas on which they are projected
I feel very much like I could touch them and feel them
they talk to me without actually directing the talk at me
and from their strange language I learn things
I learn about myself, a lot, especially in relation to others
then I am given the Book of Life and without reading
I know what is dead within me and what still lives
then they suddenly tell me it’s time to go
without good byes I again am dragged somewhere else
when the stars have settled I notice being in my room again
staring once more in the horizontal chasm of a dark doorway
it has not been more than 15 minutes, but it felt like a month
and it feels like the world is somehow entirely different
I take stock of what I had and what I have now
content, I go about the rest of my night in confidence
that tomorrow things are going to be different

In songs they sing that silence is louder than bombs
like the moments when dust settles in the tombs
We see no evil, we hear no evil, we speak no evil
and we try but little good can we deliver
our mouths are silenced and our hands are bound
by our own inability to comprehend a growing mound
of the injustice of violence and cloaks and daggers
and machine gun fire from drones’ automatic triggers
we refuse to try because we believe in a way of the world
that’s been for thousands of years like God’s word
and so the millstone rotates and grinds the human condition
us privileged few unwittingly keeping it all in motion

I write queer letters in sand
trying to make my mark in this land
my alphabet comes into existence
from an external floating presence
who is something other from mine
yet it is me from a different time
the feeling changes minute by minute
making my very soul rather dilute
so I make this conversation with it
talking to myself in the soul pit
this is the dreaded Anti-Christ
who opposes the great Christ
which can not be nothing but me
from which I sometimes wanna flee
they both want what’s in my best interest
and neither will never ever let me rest
the me-me wants to be born again
the anti-me wants the world to gain
and the talk indubitably goes nowhere
I surrender and let him take me there
where the stones and dead trees are gilded
and drunkenness and happenstance are mixed
and to this day I continue writing these letters
my other-selfness removing all my tethers
telling me that he is the chosen one
and that only by him the day is won
he is the lack of concepts and meanings
yet he is everything a man ever needs
everything my conscious self ever does
the unconscious me always does finish
who am I talking to?