Let’s double check:
You have an illness in your soul?
Where does it hurt?
When does it hurt?
WHY
does it hurt?
You can’t describe it?
Oh well, don’t be depressed, in the modern age
we have the rigorous help of the scientific method
and it can tell us everything we need to know about your illness!
We need this tube device and some spiritual lube
and clinical light to shed on the dark corners of your soul
next we are going to put this thing inside your soul
-you will FEEL-
try to relax and think a little less of yourself
there could be side effects, like tears and vomiting of personal residue
and you might find yourself and lose yourself
remember, it is just temporary so don’t be fooled by yourself or the lack thereof
now then we are going to take some samples from your soul:
you could feel a slight pinch, nothing more
if you feel different after the procedure rest assured
your soul is still intact
the soulologist will check your samples and will come back with the results within a month
There, all done; that wasn’t so bad was it? You just needed to relax a bit
See, with the modern scientific method we can give precise diagnoses
even to the illnesses of the spirit; something people once thought
”material science” could never penetrate. As always though
science triumphs and advances our understanding of the human creature!